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latest sex jokes updated weekly. Catch the latest jokes mixed with classic humor and funny
observations.
(WARNING: Jokes may be hazardous to your depression)
(WARNING: Sex jokes may cause blindness if viewed too often)
SUGGESTED NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS
- Never have sex with a stranger unless you are stranger than them.
- Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
- I will stay on the computer as long as I want. What? OK, dear... I'm coming. Never mind.
- A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a
man never forgets the women he couldn't.
SEX AND ALZHEIMER'S
Further proof that the long term implications of drugs/procedures must be
fully considered.... Over the past few years more money has been spent on
breast implants, penis implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's. In a few
years we will have a lot of people running around with huge breasts and
long dicks and they won't remember what to do with them.
TOP REASONS CYBERSEX IS POPULAR
- It's easy to turn a computer on - just flip the switch.
- Virtual dancing baby easier to care for than real one.
- Less threat of Kenneth Starr investigation.
- No trips to the doctor if you catch a computer virus.
- The low cost of commitment: only $19.95 in ISP charges.
- Monitor size doesn't matter.
- Easier to hide a laptop if someone walks in.
- You never spend a penny on deodorant, perfume, or Mentos.
- Everybody assumes "clinton@whitehouse.gov" is just an alias.
- No need to say, "I have a headache" - just claim you couldn't dial into your AOL account.
SEX FOR SENIORS
A 75-year-old woman went to the doctor for a checkup.
The doctor told her she needed more activity and
recommended sex three times a week.
She said to the doctor, "Please, tell my husband."
The doctor went out into the waiting room and told the
husband that his wife needs to have sex three times a
week.
The 80-year-old husband replied, "Which days?"
The doctor answered, "How about Monday, Wednesday
and Friday."
The husband said, "I can bring her Monday and
Wednesday, but on Fridays she'll have to take the bus."
(WARNING: Jokes may be past their expiration date)
(WARNING: Funny objects are closer than they appear)
(WARNING: Keep jokes out of the reach of children)
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