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(WARNING: Jokes may be hazardous to your depression)
(WARNING: Sex jokes may cause blindness if viewed too often)
BRIGHT SIDE
Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly
irritate his friends with his eternal optimism and he would reply, "It could
have been worse." His
friends decided to invent a situation so completely terrible that even Frank could find no hope in it.
"Frank, did you hear about Tom? He came home last night, found his wife
in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the
gun on himself!"
"That's awful," said Frank, "But it could have been worse."
His bewildered friend asked, "How could it have been worse?"
"Well," replied Frank, "If it happened the night before, I'd
be dead now!"
MEN ARE LIKE...
- MEN ARE LIKE . . . Floor Tiles, if you lay them right the
first time, you can walk all over them for years
- MEN ARE LIKE . . . Chocolate Bars, sweet, smooth and they
usually head right for your hips.
- MEN ARE LIKE . . . Coffee, the best ones are rich, warm and
can keep you up all night long.
- MEN ARE LIKE . . . Commercials, you cant believe a word they
say.
- MEN ARE LIKE . . . Copiers, you need them for reproduction,
but thats about it.
- MEN ARE LIKE . . . Cement, after getting laid they take
along time to get hard.
- MEN ARE LIKE . . . Government Bonds, they take so long to
mature.
- MEN ARE LIKE . . . Mascara, they usually run at the first
sign of emotion.
- MEN ARE LIKE . . . Used Cars, both are easy-to-get, cheap
and unreliable.
NAMING DISASTERS AFTER WOMEN
Q: Why do they give female names to natural disasters?
A: When they come on to you, they are all wet and wild. When
they leave, your house is gone, your car is gone, your dog is
gone...
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(WARNING: Funny objects are closer than they appear)
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