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IF BODY PARTS COULD TALK
Feet Speaking to Penis: "Our master is so mean. He walked
us around all day inside those hot, smelly shoes with no
ventilation."
Penis Speaking to Feet: "That's nothing! Last night he
threw me in a dark cave and made me do push-ups until I threw
up!"
10 REASONS CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX
- When you have chocolate it does not keep you neighbors awake.
- You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
- Good chocolate is not hard to find.
- With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
- You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
- You can have chocolate on top of your desk during office hours without upsetting your co-workers.
- The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
- You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
- You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
- You can GET chocolate.
BUYING CONDOMS
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of three, nine or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well", he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's THE night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12-pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist!"
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