Dirty Jokes-Sex Jokes-Funny JokesJokes at PleasureMeNow.com? We're your source or should we say your receptical for dirty jokes, sexual jokes, sex jokes, blonde jokes, funny jokes about relationships, men, women... The latest sex jokes updated weekly. Catch the latest jokes mixed with classic humor and funny observations.
(WARNING: Jokes may be hazardous to your depression)
(WARNING: Sex jokes may cause blindness if viewed too often)
SEVEN THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A MAN SAY
- I'd like to take you out on a date but your breasts are
just too big.
- Here honey, you use the remote for a while.
- While I'm up, can I get you anything?
- Sex isn't important. Sometimes, I just want to be held.
- We never talk anymore.
- Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.
- I'm sick of blow jobs. How about if I just try to satisfy
you for an hour?
10 HUSBANDS, BUT STILL A VIRGIN
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
BOYS SEE NAKED WOMAN
Two boys walk into a field where a lake sits in the middle.
They see a naked woman swimming in there, and one immediatly
runs in the other direction.
The second boy runs after him and asks," Why did you run
away?"
The first boy replies, "My mom tells me if I see a naked
woman, I will turn into stone, and I felt something getting
hard."
(WARNING: Jokes may be past their expiration date)
(WARNING: Funny objects are closer than they appear)
(WARNING: Keep jokes out of the reach of children)
Click Here For Previous Dose
|
