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REAL LAWS STILL ON THE BOOKS
Uh Oh, I think I might be in trouble:
> You may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length.
> Women who sit on men's laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow between them face an automatic six-month jail term.
> No one may set fire to another person's property without prior permission.
> It is a crime for dogs to mate within 500 yards of a church. Breaking this law is punishable by a fine of $500 and/or six months in prison.
> It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent.
> It is illegal to cry on the witness stand.
> Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless the are on a leash.
> It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear.
> Persons classified as “ugly” may not walk down any street.
REAL LIFE NAMES
Some people have a real burden to live with--their name. We heard these REAL names on a radio show in Los Angeles:
Dick Butkis, Famous Linebacker for the Chicago Bears
Ms. Dykeman married Mr. Dickmyer
Puc Dong (Sounds like a product we should carry)
A FEW UNRELATED THOUGHTS
1. If you follow their investment advise, you'll quickly learn
how a broker gets his name.
2. Recently I spotted a pest control truck with a bumper sticker that read, "Zero return on infestment."
3. Many supermarkets now have a policy of opening more check stands if more than three people are waiting in any line? My Post Office has adopted a similar policy--for every additional three people waiting in line, they close a window.
4. To err is human which disproves the theory that politicians are not.
5. I hear talk is cheap; so, I'm asking my attorney for a refund.
(WARNING: Jokes may be past their expiration date)
(WARNING: Funny objects are closer than they appear)
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