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Dirty Jokes-Sex Jokes-Funny Jokes

Jokes at PleasureMeNow.com? We're your source or should we say your receptical for dirty jokes, sexual jokes, sex jokes, blonde jokes, funny jokes about relationships, men, women... The latest sex jokes updated weekly. Catch the latest jokes mixed with classic humor and funny observations.

(WARNING: Jokes may be hazardous to your depression)
(WARNING: Sex jokes may cause blindness if viewed too often)

Jokes Humor Fun

SPROUTING UP EVERYWHERE

There is this guy who really takes care of his body. He lifts weights and jogs five miles every day. One morning, he looks into the mirror and admires his body. He notices that he is really sun tanned all over except his penis and he decides to do something about it. He goes to the beach, strips completely, and buries himself in the sand except for his penis sticking up out of the sand.

Two little old ladies are strolling along the beach and one looks down and says, "There's no justice in this world."

The other old lady says, "What do you mean?"

The first lady says, "Look at that! When I was 10 years old, I was afraid of it... When I was 20 years old, I was curious about it... When I was 30, I enjoyed it... When I was 40, I asked for it... When I was 50, I paid for it... When I was 60, I prayed for it... When I was 70, I forgot about it... And now that I am 80, the damn things are growing wild!"


Jokes Humor Fun

10 THINGS GUYS SHOULD NOT SAY AT VICTORIA SECRET

  1. "My mistress would just love this."
  2. "Go ahead and ask the clerk to model it for you..she always does for me."
  3. "Two to one odds it does not come in your size."
  4. "The thought of you in that is making me nauseous."
  5. "The Dancer at the Kittycat Lounge wore something just like this last night."
  6. "Hey, can I try it on when we get home?"
  7. "You can wear that all you want, you're still not getting the remote."
  8. "I bet your sister would look good in that."
  9. "Sure it looks nice but can you mow the yard in it?"
  10. "I don't care if the damn things are edible..I still ain't eatin' down there!"
Jokes Humor Fun

NEW IRS TAX

From: IRS
Re: Notice Of Tax Increase (Form 1040P)

The only thing the IRS has not yet taxed is your penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time, it is hanging around unemployed; 20% of the time, it is pissed off; 30% of the time, it is hard up; and 10% of the time, it is in the hole. On top of this, it has two dependents who are both are nuts. Accordingly, starting January 1, 1995, your penis will be taxed according to its size. To determine your category, please consult the chart below and confirm this information on page 2, section 7, line 3 of your standard 1040 form.

*12-10 inches - Luxury Tax......$50.00
10- 8 inches - Pole Tax........$30.00
8- 6 inches - Privilege Tax...$15.00
6- 4 inches - Nuisance Tax....$ 6.00

*Males Exceeding 12 inches must file Capital Gains

Please Note : Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.

Please do not request an extension.

(WARNING: Jokes may be past their expiration date)
(WARNING: Funny objects are closer than they appear)
(WARNING: Keep jokes out of the reach of children)

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