Nuh-uh, Honey! 12 Things That Are Instant Turn-Offs for Women

Sweet kittens, welcome to Lola’s little lair of lewdness! And I know why you’re all here. You know that your Lola knows her way around the sensual embrace. You’re here because you want my two cents on the subject of sex and sexuality. And I’m happy to oblige! In more ways than one, even. Wink. And my long-term readers know that I have a nice, long list of things that turn me on. Based on the input of you, lovely sex kittens, I also know that those things turn you on as well.

But there’s always that other side and we need to address it.

Us ladies, we have certain standards. After all, you can push our buttons, but depending on your look, behavior, attitude or disposition, the buttons you reach for can wildly differ. And once you push the wrong one, a big red flag raises and we’re done. Simply put, there are certain things that you do that we really, really don’t like. Little bits and pieces that take our libido and heave it head-first into depression, anger and even disgust.

That’s what I’m here to have a chat with you about, my darlings. Here’s a list of things that are instant turn-offs for women. And since you know Lola as a fair lady who believes in equality, I’ll address both men and women here. So, let’s get going!

Dude, not cool! Turn-Offs for Women If You’re a Guy

“There is no one-size-fits-all partner for either men or women. But there are trends when it comes to misfit shoes. It’s important to keep them in mind going forward.”

First, let me speak to the gentlemen. If you want to have a fun time with a woman like me (and really, who wouldn’t? Wink.), pay attention to how you behave. There are a couple of things that, if you do them, instantly burn that potential bridge.

#1: What’s That Smell?

Doll, if I have to hold my nose during the whole thing, I’m not enjoying myself. And no, I’m not a fan of sweat patches either or matted hair.

Lots of dudes think that women like messy men. Now, let me make one thing clear, my sweet dudes – there’s a difference between “messy” and “rugged”. When a man is rugged, he’s unshaven, wears work clothes and the sweat is filled with pheromones. When a man is messy, he looks like a bum and smells even worse. That other option there? That’s what turns us women off.

#2: You Said WHAT?!

Ladies are sensitive to sexism. If you tell me to get back to the kitchen or to smile and be pretty for you or that my orgasm is a myth, you’re not getting past First Base. I know full well that some of you mean it as a joke. But that’s not the kind of joke that will get you laid. In fact, if you do it too often, chances are you’ll never be with another woman ever again. Just… don’t.

#3: Slow Down, Honey, It Isn’t a Race!

Sometimes, men can act as impatient as children. Seriously, where’s the fun in rushing sex?!

Let me be a bit clearer, darling. It’s your first or maybe second date with a girl. And instead of a soft kiss or a whisper, you constantly try to get into her panties. No woman likes a needy man and especially someone who’s pushy and lacks patience. Historians say that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I say that sex with a woman you like will also require some time. Rush less, focus more and you’ll get there. And you’ll love it. Wink.

#4: Lighten Up, Why Don’t You?

Some dudes are self-critical and slightly grumpy, which is fine. I mean, we all have those days, don’t we? But if you’re negative all the time, it can be extremely jarring. Honestly, I really don’t want to hear you complain about your job, your landlord, your neighbor or your car trouble. And I know I’m not the only woman who thinks so. When we’re about to make love, try to keep it upbeat.

#5: Nose Way Up High

Now, here’s another end of the extreme, darlings. I personally cannot sleep with a guy who can’t see anything past the ridge of his nose. “Oh, check out my gym progress, babe!” “And so I told my boss that I had that idea and I should get that promotion and he told me that I myself can see my qualities…” You know the type.

The key is moderation. Again, being overly self-critical is a problem, but never see yourself as perfect. Men who believe they are better than others will never have a place next to a self-respecting woman in the bedroom.

#6: Is There a Future?

I’m not the kind of girl who does too much planning, at least life-wise. But I can definitely claim that, to many women, a huge turn-off is a man with no perspective. If he’s stuck in a dead-end job, has no dreams, no goals and no passions that drive him, what kind of life is he leading? Sounds like someone the ladies really don’t want to get passionate with – if there’s any passion there, to begin with.

Sorry, Missy, I’ll Pass. Turn-Offs for Women If You’re a Girl

Now, in the interest of fairness, ladies, I have to talk about your potential shortcomings, too. We’re just as human as our dude friends, which means we can also do things that turn women off. Here are six common issues I personally ran into or had other ladies complain about, when it comes to female partners.

#7: Cling a Little Less

Baby, please, we, the ladies, beg of you, give us some space! We love having you around, but if you keep pestering us with messages, calling us every hour or sticking too close to us while we’re out, you’re not showing us a cute side of yourself. Instead, you’re turning into a clingy mess that no woman is really willing to sort.

#8: Let’s Talk About Something Else…

Much like men, women can get frustrated or negative easily and then spend hours just talking about it non-stop. “This guy at work, he’s such a klutz!” “Yes, darling, yes…” “He keeps sucking up to the boss and it pisses me off!” “Mhm, I see…” “And then there’s that Karen who can’t stop crying about every little thing!” At that point, all the excitement the partner has had for you is gone.

Darling, a little drama is fine, as is a little venting. But if you go too far, you’ve lost me.

#9: Overly Proud

Lola loves and respects all, sweethearts. If you’re one of my LGBTQ+ readers, you have a spot here, always! However, there’s a section of sex-positive darlings from this group that are TOO proud of that fact to the point where they lord it over you. Honey, if we ladies don’t like men being too proud and bragging about their manhood, why would we tolerate you for being too proud about your own sexual preferences? All we ask is that you’re secure with yourself, moderate in your conduct and eager to give us attention and we’ll have an amazing time together. Wink.

#10: Roleplaying Done Wrong

One thing a lot of queer women despise is choosing a “role”, especially in a female/female relationship. Why does one have to be the “man” and the other a “woman”? I always find it far more interesting when two people explore their sexuality and see what pleases both of them. I’m sure you’ll agree!

#11: Again, What’s That Smell?!

One more time, I must stress: there’s a difference between messy and rugged. Good hygiene is not necessarily a turn-on, but it’s kind of common sense. I mean, you don’t go to work covered in mud and grime, do you? Nor do you attend a birthday party or a wedding with food caked all over your clothes and hair.

Ladies, like men, can have poor hygiene. And I’m not talking about not shaving or wearing baggy clothes. That’s even fine in my book! What I’m talking about is the blatant disregard for your own cleanliness. There really is no need for you to skip showering seven days in a row. Nobody wants a partner that they can smell well before they see them.

#12: Honey, Nobody’s Perfect

As odd as it may sound, women can be just as proud and boastful as men. They can claim to be the perfect 10 and they’ll often judge you for your imperfections.

That’s never a good thing, darlings. Don’t do that.

Let’s remember that none of us is perfect. We all have our faults and foibles, our little particularities that make us a bit off-kilter. And that is completely, utterly fine! The more we are aware of our flaws, the more we will work to reduce or eliminate them. But we can’t do that through constant ridicule and criticism. As I always say, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. And if I need a good liquid during foreplay, I always choose honey, darling. Wink.

Avoiding That Off Switch: Turn-Offs Summarized

Overall, darlings, there are certain types of behavior you should avoid if you’re looking to have some fun. Now, Lola isn’t unreasonable. I understand that forming new habits and curbing bad behavior takes time. But if you show the willingness to change and put the effort in – why, that in and of itself can be a whole new turn-on. Wink.

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